My Mamma Says...

My mother, oh my mother. I love her dearly but sometimes she is unaware of what she says. I mean she is seriously a stereotypical Jewish mother (back me up on this Becks), although she is not Jewish. She's got the guilt thing down, she's got the constant nagging about my single status down, she's got the constant picking at everything I do, wear, say, down. Today was no different. We went out to lunch like we always do and started talking about shopping. I was complaining that I needed to go shopping and buy some new clothes because all of mine have gotten to big. Normal mother would insert congrats on weight lost. My mother replies, "maybe you should hold off, you might gain the weight back." Awesome. My mother just told me I am probably going to get fat so I shouldn't go shopping. Then over lunch we see this cute baby go by and I comment on how cute it is and how much I love kids. Normal mother would insert some general agreement at cuteness of said baby. My mother replies, "You know you can still have children. I think you should look into having your eggs harvested and frozen. There are many options for girls your age these days who really want to be moms." WTF? First of all, "girls my age?" I am 29 not 45. Second, my mother just informed me (without directly saying it) that she is starting to think I am never going to get married so I should seek other options.

After lunch I went grocery shopping where I promptly picked up the makings for meatloaf and an US Weekly. Comfort food and a trashy magazine. Is it wrong that the wacko stories of stars make me feel like my life is normal?